New and Improved

A popular brand of toilet paper recently released a new and improved product. What was the change? Would it help ease the household shopping budget? Increase absorbency? Make our restroom visits more pleasant?

Um, no. The change is that, instead of a straight perforated line, the individual sheets are now separated by a curvy perforated line. I could not make this up. Check it out at your local market.

This reminds me of the countless advertisements aired during my lifetime for “new and improved” versions of old products. The old laundry detergent, for instance, made clothes their whitest white and brightest bright, but the new and improved detergent also made them their brightest white. In other words, there was no change except perhaps a slight increase in costs to put the new words on the packaging. The added cost would of course be passed on to consumers eventually.

Inevitably, some variation of the “new and improved” mantra comes up in all realms of social interaction. The American public is getting inundated with it in the political arena at present. While one major candidate says he will continue doing the job he has been doing for the past several years, another major candidate is promising an updated version of the job he did for four years, which was rejected by voters at the polls when he sought reelection. He is promising more of the same policies that he gave us before, only delivered more expertly this time. From all appearances, if elected, he would replace the straight perforated lines between his political acts with curvy perforated lines, but little else would change.

My cynicism for “new and improved” does not mean I do not support innovation. Of course, we want changes that improve our world. Of course, we are willing to try new approaches to solving old problems. But returning to rejected policies of the past does not fit the bill.